Well I’ll say this for my companions they sure know how to throw a party! I mean the first night outta Sims we end up meeting a Gnome warlock. He invited me to a barbecue which I accepted, damn was it hot, and I got a little scorched. Then his Orc companions sure tried to get in on the act too, so with that many party crashers I had to kill an Orc to straighten things out. Then they had the audacity to run off after I killed one like, what? So then they had to make me go and chase them so I chased one of them cowardly Orcs down and tripped ’em, no one leaves the party without saying, good-bye… I mean how rude? After all figures some damn Orcs would have the nerve to fight and run, almost as bad as the damn stinking humans!
So then we take care of that issue and once again set in for the remainder of the night. Wouldn’t you know it the ranger puts an arrow in a human trying to get some food after losing two of his companions to the damn Gnome and Orcs! Well, let’s just say the gnome and orcs were sent on their way with money in their pockets and food on their backs and in their bellies. Damn did we just get robbed? I kinda thought we won that one.
Anyways I digress… I know a human frailty that’s what I get for spending so much time with ’em. My sister would be calling ’em my pet humans by now. My brother though would have just gutted them, Osiris I miss my brother. So the human, that the ranger feathered turned out to be friendly and told us all about hunting some orcs. Well I was hoping they were the orcs we were looking for so we go tracking them and when we get close me, the group whore-monger and another human decide to scout out the scene. And guess what? I’m as quiet as a mouse, and you guessed it those damn two made so much noise they brought the wrath of Orc upon us. I get feathered while my companions are dodging around like monkeys. Which if you think about it ain’t too far from the truth. So I watch as one of my companions throws two axes to fell his adversary.
Now who in the world wants a human to outdo them in the middle of a huge fight. I’ll tell you right now that there is no way I’d ever let that happen. So I run up on mine real quick and gut em like a fish. In one hit he went down like a sack of meat. And the human had the audacity to say his was deader. Ha! I say but I did it in one hit, and you took two. So then I look up and I see a wall of Orcs coming at me at least 30 of the buggers. You might think I’m dead meat, you’d be wrong and laugh in the face of death and threw a Energy bolt to trip up one and cause four others to all fall into a pile. Maybe they shouldn’t run with scissors. Haha! Ah Orcs are so funny.
Well anyways I do that once more to take out three more and the mage always trying to show me up ends up putting the rest to sleep. I mean come on what a bunch of pups. I can’t seem to get a good fight in its like the world is throwing fleas at me and I’m not breaking a sweat. Yea in that fight I did get feathered twice but I can take it. I’m a giant meat grinder. Speaking of meat.
Man did I tell you about the deer Mary cooked earlier? Oh man let me tell you about this deer it literally just seemed to melt in my mouth I ate so much I had to let my sword belt out two notches. Mary if you ever read this let me tell you, you can cook for me anytime! I’ve got drool dripping from my muzzle all over the table right now writing this. Damn it! I need a piece of meat! I’m going to have to cut this short and let you maybe get the rest of the adventure from someone else. After all I think I’m going to find Mary and see if she can make something outta the provisions I brought. Mmmmm Meat! Talk to you all maybe next time.
Posted by Greldarr on the 19th day of Majestic in the 67th year of the Wolfen Empire.
Picture by Chriss2d.