In the last few days I have seen more in those few weeks than my entire life. The oddest thing I met was this Mangy Carl (ally or opportunist?). Apparently it is his ‘fault’ that that my life is the greatest that it has ever been. I was truly influenced by the gods to go from sh*t shoveler to magi to a member of the most influential group in the world. Next to the deflowerers er… the Defilers (hey I don’t know if there is ill legitimate children out there from these famous guys, I can only say that Overkill was a real lady’s man).
At any rate, I want to relate some of the experiences that I have seen and heard while I have been with CrIsis. As you will recall (because I only said it a moment ago) that this Mangy Carl is a real character (just my type, half witted, scruffy looking etc. etc…) and for his viewing entertainment, we were put through a series of tests that, well, nearly got us killed. Actually got me killed, but he brought me back. Weird thing is that I think that he was fair (or is that me seeing things in color and not black and white). Through this running around, I got a bow and learned that there was a lot of evil rune weapons that were not very nice but when we got out there was a P-A-R-T-Y going on; areal one with monsters of every race and color and creed. Carl really knows how to please a guy and by that I mean happy birthday whoever they were. There was beer and cake and well it carried on and on. And get this, this is where it was weird, there was creatures like dragons and giant and bugbears (oh my!). I couldn’t help myself and joined in the festivities. It’s a real conundrum how one minute I’m jumping into Xerx’ses arms so I don’t get eaten by a hydra and the next I’m partying with him… er… her? (Do dragons have a gender?).
While we were barely staying sober I took a moment to examine my new acquisition, an elfin bow (its so purdy) that was hidden in a cove in the wall in a chest; fine craftsmanship and such but I could not help but wonder what the purpose for hiding the thing and leaving the dreadful rune sword of death out to be handled by the public like it was (there was a rune sword that was like so evil that it could posses you and stuff). I scarcely got a real chance to look at it when the guys said that we had to go and head for home. In our stupor we headed home and what was nice of Carl was when we were on our way out the door that he said that if we needed anything that all we needed to do was just mention it and the Western Empire would provide (he’s got a reputation in these parts). And that comment after Azariel wanted us to arrest this guy and try him for stealing. Again I was seeing in color and couldn’t in good conscious do it. He seems like a decent guy for someone who was once a member of ReSet. I’m not sure what to think, I am sure that it is the will of Thoth that I am here but what do I do for the team that someone else could of not done? Are they really stuck in their ways? Don’t get me wrong I’m glad to be here but I think the team needs to relax sometimes and, I don’t know, let one rip; you know what I mean?
Well we eventually got to this hotel and wow what a nice place. The staff was generous and kind (even to the likes of Asher and me). I did my best to behave and not say such offensive things like Me so Sorry (heavy Asian accent). Perhaps your manors have also rubbed off. I still liked your hippy ideas though almost prayed naked in a church (Indaris stopped me). That’s another funny story. We went to donate money and the dog lady (oh crap, what’s her name, oh yea, Caminata), well she almost donated all her coppers. I had to do everything to let her know that there was actual worth to the money and to keep it (though part of me wanted to keep it for myself). Than I did what I thought I’d never do, donate a ton of money to Thoth. I really appreciate the guy. I even said a prayer; simple and direct; Me and you, right Thoth? I don’t know the proper respect for gods all that much but at least I didn’t drop trow.
When we returned to the hotel on that spiritual high we retired to our beds and I thought that I’d get a good night’s sleep; WRONG! You recall how we have a Minotaur in our mist? Well apparently he has brothers and sisters and some of them are plum out of their minds! Four of these beings with weapons that talked to their minds were tearing up the joint and had a keeper as a hostage (turns out that they were beating the snot out of this poor poser to get him to sing like a canary). I have hears some humans sing and they are better off keeping their mouth shut. Poor soul they probably heard him sing because his mouth was beaten shut and probably missing teeth. I don’t know if humans sing through their eyes because they were black and shut too. At any rate we kicked their butts but I almost got killed in the process.
Now we have these weapons and some heartless (Asher ate them) creatures. So where are we going to next? I really want to know. I’ll write later.
Smell ya later,
Written by Burlap on the 19th of Set the 71st year of King Itomas.
Picture from Castle Age Wiki.