It seemed like we were getting nowhere. All this planning for trying to draw out the elusive Rhaznor is growing tiring. One of us wants to spend as much money as necessary for a shot at possibly luring this bandit out from hiding. I keep telling them that we need to be good stewards with the money and goods provided by Ra but still they want to risk it all only on a small chance he might take the bait. There must be a better way and there was. Strangely I guess we had not been looking too hard for it; seemed that everyone in the town knew of a faerie inhabited area of the forest except us. Among them lives a druid named Salimar who could lead us to the path to the lair of this bandit king. The way I found this out was through a druid friend who I ran into in town, Elfway. He told me to meet him in the inn I was staying. What a coincidence! So with that I took some time before the meeting to go pray and tithe. I pray that our trip may be blessed and that my tithe will appease Ra to bless us further. Oh and I also prayed for some bears. I prayed that the bears of Timiro might find a feast tonight which consists of the bodies of the warlock and orcs that we let go, but found out they were murderers. Too bad none of them are female, because I hear bears can smell the menstruation.
After my prayers I met Elfway in the bar who warned me that I was being followed to this town by those that wish to capture me. I guess General Mordox will need to lay low for a while or find a new guise of some sorts. He also mentioned the druid I was talking about earlier. It turns out that he has not met him, but Elfway is a really good guide in the forest. It was about this time that the group returned with the same information I had. Again I am shocked that every single person we talked to in town knew where this druid lives. So it looks like we found our way. Ra has provided once again! And so we headed out in the morning leaving behind Skred and the ninety-nine maps that Greldarr bought. He must really love maps, because when I looked at some of them I saw that they were without any general markings at all and appeared useless. Oh well it must be a hobby of his. We all said a prayer before we left and I rubbed Overkill’s bald head for luck.
It took a good day to get into the forest, but it was filled with no troubles or so I thought. It started with Mr. Baldy tripping repeatedly. At first I thought he was a klutz, but then I noticed everyone looking up and that’s when I heard the laughter. We had reached the faerie lands. As we continued walking towards where we thought was their town the pranks got more frequent. Most of them focused on Overkill and Cava. They seemed like the two with the least sense of humor and the faeries picked up on it. Overkill somehow turned into a musclebound beast and Cava, well let’s just say I have a not so secret admirer. Finally we made it to the camp. It was actually quite amazing and looked really fun. I wish I could have stayed longer and enjoyed myself, but as quickly as we arrived we were whisked away to the king’s presence. The fabled faerie king was rumored to be quite a sight, but that’s not what I got. He was really mean and bossy. He told us to bow before him and give our possessions to him and things were heading south fast. That’s when Overkill did something I would never advise anyone to do in front of royalty. He got up and called the king a puppet and an imposter! Luckily for us he was right and dozens of faeries popped out of the mask and clothing. We passed their test and it was time to feast. I won’t talk to much about the feast, but lets just say it was another prank….. I now have skin that looks like bark and Chip and Cava share my ailment. Overkill gorged himself on wine and became very susceptible to persuasion, which came when I brought up the fact that I wanted to join in the faerie dances that Rell talked about. They sounded like a lot of fun. The faeries were shocked that I knew about this, but were glad to take Overkill, Cava, Chip, and I to the dance. Cava was hitting on me the whole way. It was really annoying, so I stayed ahead with the faeries and helped them pull pranks when asked. It was a lot of fun. Again I won’t get into much detail, but lets just say by the end of the night I saw more than I wanted. I had a naked Cava trying to dance near me and Chip was also dancing around naked. Luckily for Overkill he kinda passed out from intoxication.
In the morning the faeries led us to Salimar. We came to a cave with a bear and people got a little tense. Then this huge white stag jumped out from the brush and landed it front of us. We were all standing there in awe basking in its magnificent aura. At that point I knew this had to be him and as I was about to speak, he started and confirmed my thoughts. He told us that he could have the faeries guide us to a merrow, which I guess is some kind of mermaid as I found out later, and she will help us get into the keep. I was kinda sad because we came all this way to be led by the druid, but he passed off the duty to the faeries, which is fine, but I like meeting new people as it gives me ideas for disguises, which I will be needing down the road.
This isn’t the first time someone has been attracted to me, but this is getting annoying. I have started to do what most female humans do to get rid of ones that they don’t like. I started playing the if you love me game. Right now Cava has his task, which will be hysterical if he pulls it off. But aside from that the trip was again uneventful aside from small faerie pranks which I again joined in on and finally we got to the merrow. When we saw Shila, the merrow, everyone in the group stood there infatuated. I don’t see what the big deal is, but I hope it got Cava’s attention off of me. The rest of the group clung to every word that she said and when she said she needed a flower on a hill nearby, Overkill and Rell took off running before she finished. Chip took off after them stating that it was a race and instinctively ran off after them. I must win to prove that Ra is the best and Apis is the worst! Overkill was really slow and everyone passed him instantly. So Rell was in the lead. When Chip tried to pass Rell, Rell tripped Chip and made him roll down the hill. As I closed in on Rell I knew he was gonna try to do the same so I ducked out of the way of his swing and kept running. With that I was in the lead, but Cava and Greldarr were gaining on me fast. I needed to win, so I did. I used my powers to leap ahead of the competition as they were about to take me and grabbed the flower first. Now came the race back down. Seeing I had the prize in hand, the group turned their focus on me. I was surprised since there were a bunch more at the top, but I was not going to take any chances. As soon as one of them came at me I leaped over them and safely made it to Shila. That was when I heard screaming. I headed up to see what it was, but when I got there, there was nothing. Grelldar, Cava, and Overkill claim it was a dragon, but how could anyone kill a dragon that fast and wouldn’t there be evidence of a large fight? Oh well. So I headed back down to the merrow, but Greldarr and Cava wished to explore the cave. They finally came back with gold and a pole arm. Ra has answered my prayers for continued blessings it seems. With the group finally together again, the merrow led us to the path to the keep. It was an underwater passage that led to the well system. So with Chip’s help we were all able to swim there safely.
After we arrived in the keep we saw some slaves. We set them free and told them to swim out the way we came in. Greldarr helped them breathe underwater and we continued on the journey. I am actually starting to really like this wolfen Greldarr. He is really nice. He puts up a mean front, but he’s really kind of like me in a lot of ways. I think I am going to stay near him more. When the slaves were gone we continued searching the place. We made quick work of several orcs we met along the way. However, we finally ran into three that called an alarm. Luckily for us they recognized me. These orcs were followers to the cause. The only question I have is, why are they following someone who openly takes slaves? It didn’t matter right now, for the alarm had been sounded. I quickly told them to sound a false alarm, which they did. Unfortunately , the leaders of the orcs were upset and were coming down to punish these orcs. We needed to prepare fast. I took one door with Overkill on the other side and Chip took the other with the orcs. We waited for what seemed like an eternity, but finally my senses went off and I knew they were coming through my door. With that I swung Eledor and cut the first orc down in one hit. Rell attacked the other one. He hit with his first axe, but his second one almost hit my head. It was so close I lost a few hairs. I was mad. When we get out of here he has to practice his axe throwing several hours a day for a week so that this doesn’t happen again! Today is the day that Rhaznor dies and we get the first piece of Osiris.
Posted by Gavin on the 21st day of Majestic, in the 8th year of King Gedro.
Faeries picture by Colliemom