Have I ever tolf, telded, erm umm tolgrd you how much fun live is. Ave you eva stopped to sniff the flowers or whatever they are, I have, yessiree I am cuirrently smelling, well not roses but the well vanished v-v-varnished, that’s it varnished roof of our kitchen Rontilde my man, whats goin onn, your cookhouse is dayam sweet, but all the food is down there on the floor, if you could somehow make that table there with the cake on it, no never mind, I got this. May the powers of her majeshty of the light give me power to telepo . . . no no no telepathatically move that cake.
Yeees, wish granted, now watch this Rog, with the amazing power of my mind I can make that piece of cake float into mah mouf nom yumm . . . . now a bit more wine to wash it doing, er down.
Oh sorry sorry good chap, I should have offered you some, hopefully spilling some on the floor counts, bottoms up Rog, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO MEEEE. psst, Rog, ill tell you a little secret, I think that little trickster Hannah might of played a trickster on us and did something to the food, whats that, the others are fighting upstairs, we can’t have that, this is the hour of celimbriation, can’t have no fightinhg goin on on my birfday, that’s jus rood, I wonder if mine queen can calm our friends down, or … ha I got it, I could turn into a dragon and surprise them all, that would teach them a lesson, now, how did I get up here again, oh yeah Father Phillip, I hope this magic pigeon makes it to you as I gave it some of my birthday cake, did I tell you I think that little tricksy fairy might have spiked, oh well, and how rude, my friends have gone off to fight without me, while im smelling the roses, i mean looking closely at the roof of the kitchen, it has the most amazing wood grain patterns, i could stare at them all day er night. What time is it people . .. its paaaaaarty time, wait no I have a better idea, lets send a message to Father Phillip, he always listens to me, wheres that scroll of magic pigeon.
Excerpt from the book “Why you shouldn’t use the Short Magical Messaging System (SMMS) while drunk, and famous people that have” by Everad Millston.