Well, another night another adventure. It seems like even when I’m alone things still wanna crawl in my bed. Looks like they didn’t want to shag after all. Well that wouldn’t work to well shagging a bunch of cats. That may be a bit awkward to shag a cat. Well I think one may have licked me right on the arse. I must say I did kind of enjoy it, but I’m no creep. Next thing I know this hot tottie comes in my room dressed sexy as hell. I greet her and find out she’s actually Bast. Turns out the gods do exist. Well I somehow end up giving her a hug and well lets just say her fanny smelt nice. Looked like I was gonna shag after all. Things were going great till one of them cats licked me again. It was a bit weird; kinda ruined the moment. Anyhow turns out I got chosen for some group named CrIsis. Also turns out that they are in fact not, a part of emergency services like the name would suggest. I was quite confused about the whole mix up. I mean these blokes are going around with a name that would suggest they help people with medical emergencies. I really didn’t know why an emergency service group would need a burglar like me. I mean what do they want? Do they want me to burgle some chap that is hurt? It’s like “Oh flip I hurt myself, best call for CrIsis emergency services. Oh flip looks like those wankers just stole my billfold. Oh well, at least I got to meet this group and now I can say I know the most famous emergency services group in all of Palladium.”

Anyhow Bast looks at me and says she wants me to spread some merriment and her name. Looks like I can do that. She says she wants me to spend my leftover coin on spreading her church. Good thing it’s about having a good time and spreading merriment. I can do that. We finish up with some shopping and then she does the worst thing ever. She forces me to go back to school. She asked me to read some books. I tried. I really did, but I did what I did best. I went bunking off and said hello to that wanker of a crier. I may or may not have shot him in the bollocks with a dart. He gave me the stink eye this one time and I knew that he was doing this city a disservice by spreading lies. Turns out though Bast was patient. She waited till I finished the book, that sneaky devil.

I felt time was up. I ran around my house as fast as I could grabbing as much as I could. I’m pretty sure I locked the door. Well I really hope those cats aren’t still in it. I forgot to leave some food out for them. With that, I saw the not-emergency services CrIsis. My good friend Azariel ran at me in a slow awkward way, so I figured I’d speed it up and so I ran over to embrace him tenderly. His bollocks smell great as always. They caressed my face like an old familiar pillow. This great reunion brought back some fun memories of roaming the world. However, the memories were destroyed by the sudden distrust of my intent. Oh well, it was an interesting arrangement of blokes. First we have Azariel, who we know is the best. Next we have beard man, the man bull, the jewelry man, and the one full of air. So we camp out and become chaps for the most part. The jewelry man with hair dark as midnight, eyeballed me and made threats and warnings consistently. Anyhow we queue up and make our way into the forest. I was in the middle of the queue when we were attacked several times on the trip. The jewelry man consistently watched over me and even threatened me a few times. The jewelry man is now the grumpy man. This was supposed to be me going on holiday and this bloke comes out trying to off me. Well, I got my eyes on your waist Sir Grumpy Man! We continue our journey after meeting my good friend, Hoppitus or Frogger as I like to call him. I met him while I was on holiday once too. Turns out he got confused and tried crossing a lane only to end up almost being hit by a carriage. I had to shoot the horse with a dart to the neck. He didn’t like that too much, but he got over it by tripping and doing a somersault literally over it. Well I hope this holiday proves to be twice as exciting. Maybe it will be like that time Azariel and I purchased those prostitutes in Upper Kighfalton. When it came time to it, we found out we couldn’t go through with it. So we took them to the fair that was in town and it turns out we had quite a lovely evening with Chastity and April.

Posted by Bungo slayer of Poachers and Poached Eggs on the 1st day of Holiday in the 1st Year of Bungo’s Holiday.

Image from iFondos.