From the Journal of Rell, written using Eastern Phonemes and Fairyspeak words.
Dated this 12th day of Corg in the 340th year of the dominion:
I have gone through the fire and have rediscovered my faith. In the course of my rebirth as the man I was born to be, I found that I questioned more than just my origin. I questioned whether I had chosen my faith, or if it were she who had chosen my faith. That other who had inhabited my body.
In the midst of this crisis of my faith, we were called upon to assist with the exorcism of Cava. I admit that my faith wavered as we tried to help purge him of his possession, and I allowed that influence to enter me through him. In the depth of that, I realized that there was only one being who truly knew my suffering. Apis needed for me to learn this, and so allowed me to go through this ordeal with only my friends to assist me.
It may have been her, my Anima, who chose to follow Apis originally, but I choose of my of volition to follow her now.
Dated this 17th day of Corg in the 340th year of the dominion:
I am at a loss, and more than just words escape me at this moment. I find myself drained, and more than just our ordeal is the cause. I only now realize that I relied upon the wisdom of our priest, now that wisdom escapes him. He has reverted from the man of faith that I first met those weeks past into this…beast that now travels with us. No longer does he call out for justice to be delt to all thinking beings, but he begins to focus on what portion the Wolven have in this endeavor.
No longer does he call us to repentance, but he himself steps away from the path that has been decreed.
I have seen him meekly turn the other cheek before the onslaught of a human guard. I have seen him back down when he had the right of primacy as a priest of the silent god. Yet now he shows disrespect to an angry dragon matron, one of a race not know for its forbearance.
He yawned in the face of a dragon that had demanded that we leave.
I blame Rhaznor. He was subdued too easily. His entire army was subdued too easily. We got cocky, and it lead to this downfall. Two of us died beneath the weight of this dragon, one younger than the dragon we are expected to actually defeat for the piece of Osiris.
This is a gut-check.
We have been found wanting in our quest. What will we do from here? Will the others simply leave this quest undone, go back to their previous lives, glad that they were not the ones who died this time? I for one truly hope not. I find myself willing to redouble my efforts in order to find the rest of this sundered god.
That does not mean I wish to carry this piece of the god any longer than I have to. I felt honored to be able to carry this piece, but as I sank beneath the waves, and watched the sunlight fade, I realized I am not the one to carry this any longer. No one of us in this party are. We are on a quest fraught with danger. I do not doubt that more than one of us will lose their life to this quest. That being said, I feel that there are others, individuals like Elyth that are better suited to the role of protector.
People who do not have Chip as their companion.
I mentioned this tengentially already, but Chip tried to kill me. As he piloted the ship away from its anchorage, he threw many of the others to the deck, and I slipped overboard.
I truly thought that my luck had run its course, and I was making my peace with my god when Chip pulled me out. It was the least he could do, seeing as he was the one to toss me overboard. I still lack some trust in him, but I am grateful not to have drowned.
I can say, though, that this has cured me of any fear of death I might have had in the past. Death will take me, whether on this quest or in my old age, and when it does I will enter into it without fear, and with eyes wide open.
Posted by Rell on the 17th day of Corg in the 340th year of the Eastern Dominion.
Picture from Sysomos