I want to tell you of the crazy things that happened prior to the games; there were drinking parties and lots of deceit. The pregame stuff has been pretty crazy; got arrested, ran from arrest and when we got back we bumped into Azarael’s mom er… wife(?) It was crazy. One minute hes ok, then he’s calling for arrest of a woman that I have not seen. The arrest was denied. Then again I thought perhaps there was some weight to it on both ends; no witnesses, except us, and even we were not completely privilege to the whole story. Some of the things that happened in Western Empire, one day, we’ll get the whole story.
Our group wanted to set up walls so that we would not be looted. There was some suspicious characters in the make shift store next to us. They could have been related to the witch (remember she was an actual witch not a witch with a B) Thankfully when she died last night there was nobody but those guys kept looking at us with such suspicion it’s only natural that we would want walls.
Well we split up to get a tent, looked around for a hotel and selling the vegetables. Caminata, Xerx’ses and I went down to a famous hotel in the region called Ras Magiras. It turns out to be a real snazzy place with guards and some of the most wealthiest people in the region attending among them the reporter. When we originally got there the guards were real jerks. I don’t know if it was about our druid being in wolf form or what but as soon as she was identified, suddenly everyone all peachy. I hate this place. I am not sure if they have a problem with elves and dwarves in their towns or if they are just naturally douche bags. For example the guards pretend to know only Eastern when we got there but when the druid is introduced They all know Elven. See what I mean. Suddenly the house minister and his maitre’d are all full of kind words and with open arms. There is food, wine (and I have a story about that), magic lights, the finest silks from South Winds; the place was crawling with wealth. There were porters, bards, musicians’ writers, theologians and politicians all over the place and adventurers… didn’t belong; it bothered me.
While we were away those troublemakers from the other came by and… well… caused trouble. It turns out their names were Joe, Malah and Rahl, competitors from our try outs. In a verbal fight they told us that they would ‘kick our asses’. They were looking for a fight and one of us said that that fight would have to wait. If they really were as good as they said then they would show it on the field; clever.
Azariel registered with a magic user and when he got back, though the details were vague, he noted that the tent they registered in disappeared when they were done; pretty cool.
Gold Coast Trading Company wanted to meet with me finally for something that I had done only a few days before where I went into Karowyn’s. At first the pompous stood to his whole 6’3” after asking me to sit down. This oaf wanted to do some serious power tripping (apparently it works with humans). He barked some ‘requests’ and tells me that it will be done blah blah blah…. It was then I exploded and jumped to my feet, kicked out his legs so that he was on all fours and I started barking my own orders into his face. He didn’t dare wipe the saliva from his face as I told him who I was and what I was going to do and that he was never to give me an ‘request’ again! There was a hint of the smell of waste as I am sure that he soiled himself. I walked out with the assistant wondering what had happened in that room. Should of stuck around because apparently a Changling went into the place disguised as me and took that mans leg. I’ll explain later. In the meantime I am sure that no one will ever give CrIsis a hard time from Gold Coast though I will have to talk to the leader of Gold Coast because my outburst and temporary warrant should have raised alarm and threatened my involvement in the games.
Azariel the elf was able to get us our security for our tent at a place called Galthor’s Guards. It was then that Xerx’ses wanted to read the contract. He had little experience with human law and wanted to read the agreement.
When I got back with the others, there was a ‘reporter(?)’ that wanted to interview me and all those involved in the games. To be honest, I was suspicious but it turned out ok. Jaymus Murray was very polite and really eager to find out technique and sporting style. It took a bit of the day and finally when the day was setting to a close we had to meet ‘the reporter’. She hadn’t changed. Her demeanor was so jaded I really didn’t want to talk. She was the opposite of James style, intrusive, brash and interruptive, granted I thought she was a dwarf for a moment. Please keep her name to yourself so that her reputation isn’t tarnished by this letter. She is kind but just… different.
While she was interviewing a imperial psychic asked to interview me about an incident. I had made the mistake with Gold Coast being alone with someone. I hope to never do it again. Remember that incident with the administrator getting his leg cut off? Well I was prime suspect one. Caminata accompanied me for the interrogation and to be honest I was grateful for the chance to escape.
That night, I spent in jail as per our agreement with the empress of this place. Thurgood Andress, or as I know him, Spazz was not happy with the government’s decision and wanted to put us in jail and throw away the key I am certain of it. Caminata wanted to heal wounds and was willing to offer an apology but I really am not going to do any more kissing hinny; Eastern Territories will just have to show some… augh… I can’t find the words.
On the morning of the 11th, we took some fresh spirits; there was music and poetry. Ms Hoppner’s (you perhaps have heard of her and her work) interview was sent out in a pigeon to the world. We each spent time doing various things; I for example spent time in the hotel away from the Eastern Territory while Caminata and Xerx’ses spent time with the people selling goods at our make shift food plot; Azariel learned magic and Indaris taught children to pray and have fun. It was like this for days.
One of the things that is going to get me in the most trouble is Eastern Territories Rosewood Wine (come to think of it was it that wine I had with Mary?). I forgot how dwarves are affected by it. Most of the next few days were a blur. Though I spent part of the time talking to locals and kissing babies I was drunk most of the time and Rosewood Wine is not good for dwarves. It makes us very amorous and like catnip, stupid and eager to screw anything with two legs. In four days I had sex with every dwarf that was willing; Honeysuckle got in at least two or three times. Oh Thoth I am sure that I am going to regret it. Please don’t publish this part. I want children to believe in heroes, priests to believe in the Gods choices and Mary to believe in me.
On the 15th some days later (and more sober I might add) some of us were turned into mice tons of us were, well not all of us thank Thoth.
The next day was no different. I went to the Naval College and got some maps and talked to some old ‘friends’. I just hope that I remember the promise that I made to get Jame Khejas’ brother in giant country. I also gave some info on the treasure trove on the island of the woolly dragon and in exchange I got those maps that I need. One of those maps are gold and will help us get around Western Empire water routes.
The 17th was interesting because two great heroes showed up. Sir Quixis and Master Terramore showed up and shook hands and talked to the team. Over the next couple of days Terramore shows his talent and it changes people. They’re healed and perform better etc. Caminata took some time to get to know the guy and though Overkill was not there he would have been there if he could have been.
A week later, we saw Asher. Holy Moley! That poor guy was busting a gut and splitting his pants! He had put on so much weight his clothes literally didn’t fit. It had just torn free and there he was in all of his old wrinkling ‘beauty’. Some of the fat had pulled the wrinkles tight and in his embarrassment he just farted and this was not no ordinary fart, it was a fart that would end a marriage. If the food had not been blessed it would of wilted from the smell. Good Thoth.
The following night a black fairie attacked us. I was certain that it was from the neighbors but I could not prove it. I was losing my mind again and began to drink the wine. Damn I was screwing again. I got to get out of this place and away from this wine. I woke up days later in a daze. Who knew what I was doing?
Seven days later on the last day of the month we finely made an effort to get rid of that torch. I was glad for the chance. The torch had not given us trouble but we had not picked up on the clue that we were being set up. That guard that was paid off for heavens sakes was greeting us at the door. We should of seen the ruse that was coming. A fight in the throne room and a meeting with a Changling that was the jerk that set me up. I was just glad for the chance to get justice. I wanted to get even… I am only grateful that the empress dropped the charge of attempted murder and was able to clear all this up.
I’ll explain. When we arrived we got escorted up to the room and what appeared was the woman that we were seeking presented herself and asked for the torch. We handed it over but asked for her to prove herself by igniting the torch. Immediately we knew that there was a problem when the ‘light’ that came from the torch didn’t ignite our rings that mysteriously glow when the torch is ignited. We attacked and she summoned her crew. They didn’t even have a chance. Less than a minute later bodies were on the ground broken but not lost and all surrendered. They should of seen it coming as we started we had what Chip would have called a epic pose with a dwarf in between a kodiak bear and minotaur. We were in such a heroic pose for a moment that it was epic… till the kobald broke wind. A moment after the thought of the end of the fight, It was then I learned that one of them was the Changling. I raced to take them out and was pinned down by Xerx’ses. It was good that he did. I am certain that I would have murdered the bastard in cold blood. I have a lot to answer for but thanks to CrIsis, I have kept my sanity and compass of right. Thanks guys and Thoth.
Picture from Cool Mini or Not.