Evening of the 20th of Mik Na, Wisdom, Tri-Arcanum Guild.
Dear Master Rombler, NO SCRATCH THAT, YO, RAD,
Guess who’s the assistant Campaign manager, in charge of the monster races, for Godly’s campaign to become the new leader of the Weaver arm of the Guild? Yours truly.
We just kicked Gul’s ass [cough joke] and his so called warriors; yes we almost lost Totem Pole, when the two remaining leaders Charoling and my buddy Wesly, joined by Sire Oaty (talk about shiny) and bardy GLEEba, appeared through the entrance to the top of the tower. We were cleaning up the bodies and PaPa was praying over them to ensure they were getting a proper send off. I tossed one of the bodies over the top of the entire group (I was really careful, as I had just accidently tossed what was left of Folwin into the back of Foxer). I may have scared the two leaders as they left abruptly, even after I gave proper salutations to Wesly, he acted like he didn’t know me, RUDE MUCH. After greetings and salutations with Oaty & GLEEba (he seemed troubled or scared by the newest members that he had not met yet), we spent the rest of the night resting in rooms that had been procured by them.
The next morning there was much to do as CrIsis would be the campaign team to try and get Godly elected. IT was determined that ALL of us would try and become members of the guild, those that didn’t belong already, to at least vote for Godly, plus the word of a guild member carries more weight and we would have greater access to more areas. I had to take care of some business first, something was tearing me up on the inside and I had to get it out, Folwin’s skull. Since I hadn’t chewed it up, it didn’t digest well, so out it had to come, the hard way. Any way new recruiting tool in hand, I led Totem Pole, Foxer, and EmEm down to the dungeon arena to get some fighting in, but the shite was closed till AFTER the voting, WTF. Some guards were there and we argued with them, and almost got the fight we were looking for; so off to other adventures.
Since fighting was out, we decided joining was in. I led them up to the main entry where all are supposed to check in to join. This snotty little elfen girl at the desk looked up some rule jazz and had us do UP-LICK-STATIONS or whatever, her accent was REALLY thick. EmEm was already a member, so he asked about becoming weaver leader, was handed his own UP-LICK-STATIONS, and went off to file it up, us 3 also filed up our’s. After a boring long time, some escorts led Totempole off in one direction for grants, while Foxer & I were led to meet with a fellow brainiac like us.
After being led up a few flights we met with Arena Master Shuku Dzahizh Emar Kounweing, and no that is not his bear name or a misspelling, I checked it twice and had fellow Brainiac Foxer check it twice. He was all Your no master, I was all Not a master, I’ll show you a master, he was all leave it for the arena, I was all I would if some major dick hadn’t CLOSED it, he was all I am the major DICK who closed it, I was alright then and when’s ya gonna to open it, he was all ya’ll have to wait till voting is done, and I was all good then I have some new skills to try out on the fresh meat, he was all blank stare like his interest was picked, he was quite the task master the last time I entered the arena and slaughtered, I mean crushed, I mean stomped, I mean…IDK what I mean, I kicked some fracking ass. I swear I saw him smiling at the end of the several days I spent in there. Whatever, he mentioned something about honorary membership and asked who I had to talk to he said Roll Master Sler Yuntoun, yes real name and spelled right, strange huh. He interviewed Foxer who WAS considered a master and was legible for full voting membership. WHATEVER. So he wanted to mulls it over and we had to see the Rolls Master.
So the book or cover or page led us to the Rolls Master, I started to inquire about my membership and he ask for names I told him who I was, this wasn’t good enough just asking “NAME!” I was all DUDE, URSUS, FUCKING URSUS. He then maybe recognized me and asked for my TRUE NAME, I was about to blurt it out, when Foxer stopped me short; in our short time together I have never heard him yell so loud. He asked the Rolls Master how many others he had helping him, the response was none, he worked alone. ALWAYS. Well I guess Foxer’s Kanky sense went off light a flash, ‘cause he said there was a 4th to our trio, and that doesn’t add up & I don’t know mafs well. Well MR. big shot Rolls Master threw some kinda white crap at something that wasn’t there but was, well the white crap stuck to whatever wasn’t there. My own skills and expertise kicked in. I was across the room and had the little sneak by the throat before he had a thought of breathing much less getting away. Turns out a little goblin had snuck into the Rolls Masters room to spy on any and all. After I threatened to gobble him up, he spilled it all and a little more (some of it ran down my arm). I had him meet the last fellow that was sent by his Master, showing him Folwin. Well I was about to chomp his head off, when Rolls Master asked to talk to him. I held the little pipsqueak in front of the Rolls Master to talk, I even loosened my grip so the runt could choke out answers, mostly yeses and noses. He gave the gobbler a task of giving a message to his Master, I was bummed I wanted to see what his fear tasted like and see if it was different then Folwin’s. Well I let him go at the adamantium behest of the Rolls Master. After letting him go and checking the room for more unwanted guests, we finally talked with the Rolls Master, he was a little less stern for some strange reason and let me know that I was in fact a honorary member, but unfortunately I was not legible to vote. He asked if I wanted to be branded a member (whatever that is) and where I wanted it. I said right shoulder. WELL, I should have asked a little more about WTF he was going to do as whatever it was BURNED LIKE A MUTHER-F… Excuse me, I was reliving the pain for a moment, WOW, I have felt pain BUT this was like a shiny sword piercing through my skin. Here’s the real funny part, it’s still there, hasn’t healed on tiny little bit, I am really scarred and branded, different. This is how others feel when they are hurt bad, nice. We left to fond the rest and get some food, I was REALLY REALY hungry after that pain.
We ran into everyone else in the grand main dining hall, Foxer suggested we have a brainiac talk, just to ourselves. Oh we checked the table we were at and found another runt. Godly, talked at him about meeting his god or something and sent this one packing too. Man, another lost snack and opportunity. Well we got the Brainiac talk going and all these thoughts were running around my head, and everyone else’s thoughts and words, and I was trying to explain my plan, it was all jumbled, is this how I really think? IDK? I was done with the Brainiac talk and grabbed my large (well small) platter of food and sought out some that were closer to my kind.
I found some “monsters” asked if I could join and invited myself to sit (oh yeah, full on bear BTW). One of the Wolfers said something about being able to speak Gobbley to me, I listened for a moment and realized everyone was speaking the original language. While I have heard it spoken, I never was able to learn or understand it, but I had a solution, the amulet Godly help me get. It is imbibed with tiny magic little creatures that speak all the languages and can translate very quickly into your ear so only you can hear it. While sitting there, I listened for a while, to see where most were headed in their voting. A few started to mention Gul, I burst out with a loud (very loud, everyone in the dining hall stopped for a moment) then started to talk about the buffoon that is Gul. I mention the fight on the roof and how CrIsis readily handled their efforts and they ran like scared vermin, some laughed, a few left. I asked if any would like to meet one of the defeated, some said yes, a few left. I pulled out Folwin.
“Hey Folwin, I want you to meet the Guys, say Hi Folwin”
“Fowlin…you made a funny. Its not time to be funny, its time to be serious. So Folwin, tell the guys what happens to guys like you that foolishly follow Gul and decide to try and take on CrIsis, and the soon to be new Weaver leader”
”Well guys, I…”
[READER’S NOTE FROM RAD…I MEAN ROD RAMBLER: The previous passage from Master Ursus has been completely redacted. The amount of vile and disgust put forth by him was too much to BEAR even for me. I HAD to read it and was ill and disturbed for several days. His recounting of the fight on the roof of the Tri-Arcanum Guild will never be in any published Books of CrIsis. There is currently discussion if his accounting should EVER be published for ANY to read.]
”… and that’s when they showed up on the roof”
So several of the “monsters” left with new information and I sensed I changed several minds to vote and support Godly for weaver leader.
CrIsis then split again. Godly had to talk to the other Guild leaders and needed proper escorts fitting a potential Guild leader. Totem & I volunteered and we both got dressed, well dressed more than we usually are, and shifted to Human or Human size (some of the halls and rooms are very small). While we 4 did that the other 4 organized a hype party for Godly, wow missed a party, oh well. Anywho, While Godly talked with the other leaders Totem & I pumped the guards in front of their rooms for intel and info. We got very little from Wesly’s guards, but Totempole made a weird connection with one of Charoling’s guards and I was able to get some juicy dirt from the other. There is a fix in for Gul (not really sure what the fix is, but I know I have to tell Godly, SOON).
Godly, came rushing out of Charoling’s room, as she loudly beckoned for one of her guards (very strange tone she had in that beckon, angry and sexual all at once). Godly needed to see one of the other candy dates and we quickly darted off. We are outside his quarters now, waiting. Musket is the guy and his guards are really weird. They keep staring at us, so I stare back, than they get a look of fear and look away or blink. They whisper some stuff to each other, then start staring again, weird.
Rod Rambler & CrIsis group picture drawn by AZ-RUNE
Folwin picture from Wikimedia Commons
Charolyn picture by Sharidyon.
Gul picture from WotC